The Famous Company
Unbelieveium, the 119th element

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Famous Company scientists are interested in the atom, and especially sub-atomic particles. These teensy-tiny, eeeny-weeny bits of energy/matter make up everything around us.

As particle physicists know, each element has a different number of itsy-bitsy thingees. The periodic table lists the known elements, including rare ones like Plutonium (element 94), Einsteinium (99), Ununbium (112), and Ununpentium (115).

Up until last Monday, there were 118 known or suspected elements. Now, in a major breakthrough, the Famous Company has found the mysterious 119th element, Unbelieiveium.

Discovery

It was discovered using the Intel Play QX3 microscope. New operating systems made it more powerful, until it worked just like a scanning electron microscope.

Then, powerful graphics algorithms gave even more magnification. (These are the same computer programs used in Hollywood movies to zoom in on a single person from a geostationary satellite, or to reconstruct a crime scene from a photo taken in complete darkness.)

As you can see, this amazing technology soon revealed the unique makeup of the Unbelieveium nucleus. Energetic subatomic particles are arranged in a rigid 3D tetrahedral lattice:


Click for large view (please, please, please)

 

Structure and behavior

Normal, boring atoms have a nucleus with protons and neutrons. Unbelieveium's nucleus, however, is made up of 7 boytrons, and 13 girltrons. Ordinarily these particles are mutually repulsive. Trying to keep them together in the close confines of the nucleus leads first to taunting, then to yelling, then screaming. Finally, the repulsive energy -- a power surpassing even the Strong Nuclear force -- leads to nuclear meltdown and an explosion.

So how can Unbelieveium even exist as a stable particle?

The "secret" of Unbelieveium is the teachertron particle in the upper right, made of Murrellium. This is the gluon which holds the nucleus together -- at least, until the particles start to decay.

Radioactive lifetime

It is believed that this particular configuration has a half-life of about nine months. From late August until early June the boytrons and girltrons are able to co-exist, until finally they dissipate. It is thought that this dissoving is caused by the teachertron exhausting its energy resources. As a result, the boytrons and girltrons drift off.

Fortunately, they recombine in new configurations after a few months when newly energized teachertrons re-appear.

Danger to humans?

Scientists warn older humans to be wary of element 119. In high concentrations, its sound, like that of chattering monkeys, can be deafening. Also, it can be unpleasant to watch -- especially during lunch as it ingests energy sources without fully closing its input portal.

In the worst cases, scientists have observed digital mucus extraction without any protective intervening tissue, leading the scientists to quickly run out of the room before they became sickened by the sight.

However, the raw energy developed by the particles in Unbelieveium may also be a boon to mankind. It is thought that Unbelieiveium, when not confined or controlled, will remain active until midnight or even 2 am. (Some cautionary reports have indicated that it may become grumpy the next morning.)

Future studies

Famous Company scientists will continue to study the strange structure of Unbelieiveium, during its most active period between 2:05 and 2:30 p.m., Mondays through Fridays. As with many new discoveries, if there are unexpected hazards or new breakthroughs, public authorities will be immediately notified.

 

2007 - Age 10

This book, banned in the 1960s, inspired Famous Company scientists to do messy and even dangerous experiments with common household radioactive materials.These experiments helped lead to the discovery of Unbelieveium.

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The Intel Play QX3 microscope. Normally it runs under Windows 98. But as you upgrade to Windows XP and then to Windows Vista, the magnification becomes greater and greater.Soon you can see individual atoms and particles!

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  Last modified: 02/20/07